School and formal education are among the most important pillars of the modern world. Within its walls, the citizen of tomorrow is built, and his or her social and cognitive character is shaped. It is the core and fundamental pillar of the system. It is also the primary means of entering the job market and achieving financial independence, as it monopolizes most of the sources of learning.
“From the point of view of the vast majority of educational and social researchers, the school is the most important political institution that influences society at all. The school is where the future of the young is made, and it is where the values of the rising generations are shaped and their beliefs are refined. It also shares with the family the task of forming the social character and identity of the children. Therefore, we find that both religious and political institutions have sought and are seeking to control and direct it!” 1
Modern history is replete with examples of experiences in which change in schools, their systems, and curricula was the key to changing people's awareness and shaping it in line with the state's goals. How many countries have advanced and others have fallen behind? How many countries have maintained their control over other countries even after the end of their occupation by keeping their education systems under their control, dedicated to glorifying those peoples and despising them for themselves.
Nelson Mandela said, "Knowledge is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." Therefore, we cannot do without educating our children. However, in light of the current circumstances prevailing in almost all countries of the world due to the coronavirus, which has imposed mandatory home confinement and hindered all normal activities, from going to work, shopping, traveling, and even students and teachers going to school, parents had to look for other, safer educational methods for their children. Homeschooling is one of the best and safest of these. But what is homeschooling? When did it start? What are its methods? Does it have negatives? What are its positives? We will present all of this to you below:
Homeschooling vs. public school is a debate I've had a million times over the past five years. Ultimately, I felt there was no choice but to send my children home. But now things have changed.
I don't write these personal stories anymore, but I felt this part of our educational journey was something many readers might be able to relate to. I hope our story helps some other families who may be struggling.
Our story
Five years ago we were really struggling. Our school situation was toxic. I had severe anxiety, OCD, and self-harming activities at just 7 years old. I had been trying to work with the school system since first grade, when the issues started. The school refused to help.
In second grade, he was placed with a horrible teacher who would yell and scream, and had questionable ideas and practices. That year, my son learned some horrific things about the school system.
In third grade, we transitioned to homeschooling part-time, half-yearly. This continued until March when we finally transitioned to full-time homeschooling.
At the same time, my younger son, who survived childhood trauma, was facing some serious racist abuse and assaults… in kindergarten! The teacher refused to address this. He also returned home, on the advice of our psychologist. We spent years helping my son heal from the trauma only to have the school system destroy him.
During this time I had heart surgery and was dealing with a lot of complications and health issues.
So on top of the huge change to homeschooling, I was struggling to heal and manage my health. Additionally, I needed to find a new career that would allow me to homeschool the kids, take care of my health, and maintain my sanity.
What is homeschooling?
Homeschooling refers to studying away from all public and private schools and educational institutions. It can be undertaken by one or both parents, or by a private tutor. The student may also be taught the school's own curriculum, special homeschool curricula, or whatever the parents deem most appropriate to their child's understanding and comprehension capacity.
When did homeschooling start?
Homeschooling has existed for a long time, with most children receiving their education at home by a family member before the enactment of compulsory education. By the early 50s, homeschooling had gained momentum and was legally recognized in 7 countries around the world. In the United States alone, a study by the Homeschool Research Foundation revealed that more than two million children were homeschooled, a percentage that was increasing from 15% to XNUMX% each year.
The most confusing question for parents is: How can they start the homeschooling process?
In his book, Teach Yourself, John Holt advises all parents to:
The most important thing parents need if they want to homeschool their children is to love them, enjoy their company, their presence, their movements, and their silliness, find pleasure in their conversations and questions, and strive to answer those questions. John Holt stipulates in his book that if parents want to homeschool, they must have the desire to do so in addition to the educational process.
What are the motivations for parents to homeschool their children?
Their lack of confidence in the school's ability to meet their children's educational needs.
Parents fear for their children from the phenomenon of bullying among students, which has recently become widespread in most schools.
Their lack of confidence in the curricula and teaching methods.
In addition, homeschooling gives parents more control over how their children are taught and the curriculum content.
The family's frequent travel and lack of stability in one country can be an important motivation for choosing homeschooling.
Homeschooling vs. Public School
For us, the decision to homeschool over public school wasn't easy. In fact, I feel like that day wasn't even a real decision. We were in a tight spot. I wanted school to be a great experience for my children and fought for years, bringing in our psychologist for counseling and working with the administration and teachers, but nothing worked.
And the ones paying the highest price were my children. They were collapsing in front of me.
If my children had grown up in such a toxic work environment, I would have repeatedly recommended them to find new jobs. Since a new school wasn't possible in our area, it was time to take the leap and start homeschooling.
Homeschooling Life
Things started well. We saw immediate recovery in the children, but the OCD and self-harm disappeared within just two months.
My children have flourished over the years with homeschooling. Their ability to learn is amazing. They have been able to pursue their passions and grow into amazing people who are more confident and sure of who they are.
Negative aspects of homeschooling
But there was a downside to homeschooling that gradually became more and more harmful over the years.
Friends.
Yes, the big socialization complaint that comes up a lot when discussing homeschooling.
As much as my children made friends through their many programs and activities, the community is so small, and generally so religious, that our secular, science-loving children failed to make any deep connections and friendships.
They really miss having close friends. Kids can have fun with them outside of organized activities, where they can play and have fun. When it comes to filmmaking, you can only make so many stop-motion clips before you actually need a few friends to join your crew.
I struggled with this. My son learns so much and does so well with homeschooling in every other way. He studies science and history in high school, and writes novels and manuscripts, while we were able to nurture and slowly help him through his math struggles and yelling. Homeschooling helped my son thrive with his 2E quirks, but the darkness of the lack of friendships began to weigh heavily on him.
I have had other homeschooling parents lecture me, saying that it is up to the mother, not the child to decide whether to homeschool or go to public school.
I'm sorry, but I find that fundamentally wrong!
It's so important that I let my kids make big decisions. Even the big, life-changing, scary ones. Because if they learn how to do those hard things now, while we're here to support and guide them. And yes, even help pick up the pieces if things fall apart. Then when they're adults, they'll be able to make decisions with confidence and know that making mistakes is okay. And how to handle both success and failure.
I see so many adults who are unable to cope with making decisions. They struggle with change. They have such deep fears about failure and mistakes that they simply won't make a decision. They spend most of their lives stuck in a rut, feeling like they have no control over their lives because they are unable to make big decisions.
I don't want my children to have these fears and struggles.
At the end of the day, this is their life. They should be the captain of their own destiny. I am simply part of their crew, helping them on the journey. Now and always. I want them to know that at the core of their being, from a young age, I am their biggest supporter and champion, but they are responsible for their own journey. I can't do that for them.
No one else controls their lives. They make their own decisions, they chart their own course. And at the end of the day, they own their own successes and failures.
Public School Wins
So this fall, my oldest son is entering middle school and will be attending a public school. The school looks promising. It has drama and film production courses, as well as many other programs and opportunities. Opportunities he wouldn't have in a homeschool setting.
Will there be downsides to public school? Absolutely. No decision is easy or 100% perfect. And that's another lesson my children need to learn.
My son is excited and can't wait to go back. We've spent 5 years preparing him through homeschooling, and he has embraced his decision with such maturity that it makes me smile with tears in my eyes. He's growing into an amazing man.
But homeschooling wins too.
Well, he's made the decision to stay homeschooled a little longer. And this is the perfect choice for him now. Why? Because he made this choice. He wants more time to learn at his own pace. He needs more time to pursue his interests. To figure out who he is and where he belongs. And this is perfect for him.
When it comes to homeschooling versus public school, I'm so glad we're able to give them that choice. Many families aren't in a position to offer homeschooling as an option. For our family, it has provided us with amazing opportunities and experiences. Most importantly, it has given my children the opportunity to grow and find themselves. To become confident young men who will grow up to be amazing men. And to take their journey through life wherever they decide to go.
At the end of the day, there is no better solution between homeschooling and public school. We simply need to find the best educational model for our child, at that stage of their educational journey, so they can achieve their dreams, pursue their passions, and become the amazing adults they are destined to be.
